Mom is in the kitchen about to make dinner. Her son walks in. I know today is a big day for you -you're finally eighteen! I can't tell you what a proud mom I am! It feels like just yesterday I caught you peeking at me in the shower, do you remember? Oh don't be embarrassed, all boys do that. Anyway I've been feeling a bit bad that you haven't had a dad around all these years to throw a baseball with, or have a beer with. He should be here to take you to your first strip club, and get you tipsy. I thought I could bring the strip club to you ...IF you want... You know I was still dancing until a couple years ago, but did you know your mom used to be a feature dancer? That's how I paid for college and everything you have! She leans in close and puts her hands on his knees. I'm serious, private dances with a feature dancer are expensive. That's how I made enough money to afford all this..but you're probably not interested in seeing your mother do that kind of this kind of thing are you?