When my mom introduced me to her new boyfriend, I could tell immediately that he was a little bitch. They just have a certain aura about them, you know? Then she married him, and he sat me down after the wedding and said, “I hope one day you’ll call me Daddy.” I’m beyond offended. I will not be calling the little bitch boy my mom married “Daddy,” and even more than that—I think that HE should be the one calling ME “Daddy.” Maybe then he’ll learn his place in the world