Most guys get excited looking at showcases for great tech gadgets, cars, or fashionable clothes. You? You salivate when you see... stinky shoes that I've been wearing for 8 months to get them as smelly as possible. They've been in dive bar bathrooms, on gross and wet city streets, in mud, and probably on dog now and then. I also show off some other shoes that'll give you freaks some way to feel a connection with me. Your Saturday night might as well be spent stroking and hugging my shoes. It's the closest you'll ever come to me!