And still, you cling to this delusion that you’re straight. It’s truly fortunate that you have such a gracious Mistress who’s willing to indulge you—and I’ve come up with the perfect indulgence. Halloween is the day that the line between what’s possible and impossible becomes thin, easily crossed. I’ve come up with a compound that will give you, for a limited time on Halloween, a fully functioning pussy. So you can get stuffed with cock all day long if you want—all while telling yourself that this totally isn’t gay, you’re still straight, no homo. You’re already looking forward to it, aren’t you?