After I move into my new house, I start to notice that my neighbor is…well, a creep. He stares at me out the windows; he comes outside to stare at me from the porch. I don’t like perverts. They’re immature, and they need to be taught a lesson in respect. Fortunately, I know just the solution. I’ll invite him over, explain the problem, ask him to take off his pants and lie down…and then diaper him and teach him some manners.