Son, we need to talk. I know things between you and your girlfriend have been...unsatisfying for you lately. I understand that she's rejected all of your sexual advance the past month or so. The truth is, she feels that you don't do a very good job fucking her. It's outright disappointing. Furthermore, I've taken over your duty of fucking your girlfriend. I do a much better job and your girlfriend and I can't keep our hands off each other. This is just what happens to sons that disappoint their girlfriends, understand?