Christmas is coming up and I'm not sure whether you realised but.. girlfriends are expensive. So, you're going to have to dump her. She's going to want a gift you know, and I don't want you spending money on her when you have SO much to buy for Me! She's a financial drain and she has to go. I'll help you write the dump text though, get your phone out, and I'll dictate to you what to write and really encourage you to hit that send button... There's a good boy...
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