This Christmas, you're going to spend it on the one that deserves it the most. No, not her silly, you'll be spending it on ME. I'm so vastly superior, there is no competition. Don't worry, you can still get her gifts, but I'm giving you a tight budget. The rest of that hard earned ca$h? I want it all. I want it in Tributes. I want it in Gift Cards. I want GIFTS, GIFTS, GIFTS from my Wishlist. I give you so much more pleasure than she does, and now, in the holidays, I'm coming to collect what I am owed.