It's been so long since you last had sex that it's safe to say, you're officially a born again virgin. Somehow you actually managed to get a woman to fuck you, once, long ago, but ever since then it's just been you and your hand. That's never going to change, this is your fate, set in stone and there is nothing you can do about it. You'd probably be a premature ejaculator at this point so it's better for everyone that you stay celibate for the rest of eternity.