I am SO disappointed to hear you went off to college and got a girlfriend! That was NOT our plan! So, remember that meal last night that upset your stomach? Well, I put something in it to make you shrink, and it's starting to work right now. You see, I want you. You're mine. So I figured out a way to keep you forever. By EATING you! You'll be slowly digested to become part of my hair, skin, muscles, and bones. Your body will make me stronger and more youthful! After teasing you with my open mouth for several minutes (cameraman) I swallow you whole. I feel your nails clawing down my throat, but you won't escape. My belly is HUGE! I should have shrunken you down a little more. I can't even get up off my couch! Oh well, at least I won't have to eat for a few more days.
