I’m assuming the novelty of resolutions has already worn off. And that’s exactly why I’m offering you a real resolution right now - one you’ll actually keep. My 2026 Pussy-Free Contract. Whether you regularly attempt to date or are a full-fledged virgin, this contract applies to you. For some, it may be more challenging than for others, but the rules of engagement stay the same. No hardcore porn. No pussy at all. Just think about all the energy, focus, and attention you'll retain by avoiding dead-end dates and the small talk and regular rejection that go with them. You will be free. What you get instead is purpose. Permission. Freedom to go all-in on the sick, deviant, broken version of yourself that you keep trying to hide. The version that lives to edge. To goon. To submit. To sink deeper. All you have to do is sign on the dotted line... sign away your rights... and give yourself to me completely.
