Come here, it is time for your monthly weigh-in. I can tell you haven’t been following my WEIGHT GAIN plan. You’ve actually lost weight! That won’t do. Going forward, you are not allowed to engage in any physical activity. Since you lost weight, you need to gain weight for the last month. I am assigning you to consume 12,000 calories per day until your weight reaches a substantial level. If you cannot achieve this, I will strap you down and feed you from a trough. Don’t disappoint me. It’s time to open wide, swallow, and gain for me.
