I heard a delicious little rumor about you. I heard that you’re...you know, not so straight as you pretend. Is it true? Are you just a big fat fucking homo? No? You’re not? I don’t believe that for a second. At first, sure, I was shocked when I heard. But then when I started thinking about it, I realized it made sense. It made so much sense that I can’t imagine you any other way now. You’re a fag and you should stop pretending. Here. I’ll prove it.