Since no one else seems up to the task, I’ve appointed myself auditor of this pathetic patriarchal world. And I’ve discovered a lot of redundancies. No wonder our society is so screwed up. Nothing can function properly with all these redundancies clogging up the system! Guess it’s up to me to remove them all, one by one. Starting with you. I hope you aren’t too attached to your penis. Because it’s simply not needed anymore—if it was ever needed in the first place.