We’ve been casually going on dates and starting to connect on a deeper level it seems, but I’ve got something I need to confess. I saw something the other day when you had me over to your apartment for the first time and it has made me completely change my mind about you. I caught a glimpse of your whitey tightey waistband hanging from your drawer and I just couldn’t help but snatch it and throw it in my purse for evidence later. I knew there was something sort of “off” about you...you’re nice and cute and all, but I could tell deep down you were an inexperienced dork. I mean really, what sort of grown man proudly sports these outdated undies?! Obviously, a sexless dweeb such as yourself. I’ve come to not only humiliate your choice of underwear, but to inform you I’ll never be seeing you on a date or in a romantic way again. Capice?!