I'm getting dressed to go to the store when I realize that like nothing fits anymore! I've started to outgrow most of my clothes, I mean look at this shirt. It once fit great but now it doesnt fit over my belly at all. I think I know who is responsible for this. You. You've surely fattened me up this year and I didnt realize it till now. You've manipulated me into growing this big. All those super indulgent meals werent because you were a caring boyfriend, you just wanted me as obese as ever! You've been so clever with it too, the only way I noticed was with all these clothes not fitting. I told you I wasnt't trying to get any fatter this year, omg! I'm a fat pig now with dishes and snacks lying around, I've broke my bed. Take a look at all this. I was fat when we first met but gained in places I didnt know could get any bigger. Jiggly as fuck. I'm even out of breathe showing you all of this. Now that I know what you're doing I guess I could help because it is kind of sexy. But just so you know, if we keep up at this same rate, I'm going to be immobile